About to...

Marriage. Wedding. Marry Now! What is it about us blacks and this marriage thingy? It is not as if we do well in the marriage venture.... okay, maybe better than whites (as some people claim) we however, seem to 'flunk' it much more nowadays. Yet our family members start asking 'funny' questions once we are in our mid-twenties.... Older women and men please, YOU have to get it and do it right so we younger ones might see what 'joy' it is to tie our destinies with that man or woman, you won't have to tongue-lash us into getting married then (once we have sources of income, of course!)

To the keeper and the kept.

In an interview which Punch Newspaper published on 6 June, artist Nike Okundaye talked about her life, her art and her art centres. While talking about the Osogbo centre which she said she opened to train young women who had been violated, oppressed and left without hope, Okundaye revealed something about the males around, "They saw me as an enemy, wondering why I wanted to empower young women, to teach them to earn money".

Shuo.... when did it become a crime to teach human beings how to earn money by empowering them? The artist described them as "ignorant men who saw women's role as being home makers who shouldn't be seen or heard". I think, however, that ignorance is not the only issues that some guys have in relation to women being empowered to become a productive part of the larger society.

I am aware that some women also encourage this idea of women not engaging in legitimate productive work, these set of women are the 'mad -arms' who live off recruiting young women into the prostitution trade. They deceive the young girls into thinking that prostitution is a fun way of making good money until a time when robbed of all dignity and their inner beauty, the sorrowful ladies come to realise that it would have been easier to learn a skill and work hard at it.

Hard work doesn't kill, rather it gives life and dignity.

Now, they are some 'kept' women who are too lazy to do anything meaningful with their lives, what will such women teach their sons and daughters? The 'keeper' of such women surprisingly, have wives at home who Actually Work! If women engaging in meaningful work was such a bad thing why are their wives working and/or furthering their education?

I tell you that the thrill of controlling another being's life, having them depend on you, stoking your ego lest you hold back that 5,000 Naira feeding money you have for them, whining like puppies and doing all sorts, equating such men to gods, are some of the reasons why the 'keepers' will view Nike Okundaye as an enemy.

The more hands we have on deck, engaging in one small or medium scale enterprise or the other, the better for our country. If your daughters are too precious to be holed-up- prostitutes to some guy who nurses a complex, then other people's children are precious too.

If you encourage these young women by giving them start-up capital for that small business, they might be the ones to save your lives or those of your children tomorrow.

To the egoistic 'keeper' I say let go! and to the lazy 'kept woman', roll up your sleeves and get ready to enjoy the dignity of labour........ generations coming after will thank you for it as they go about with their heads raised high.

If you are in Abeokuta, Ogun State, Nigeria on Wednesday 16 June, you might want to pop in to see Ola Rotimi's 'Man talks, Woman talks' being staged at Neu Gate on Abiola Way, time is 4pm.

Iredotp: Gabby prodes the prude......

Iredotp: Gabby prodes the prude......

Gabby prodes the prude......

It's been raining all day and now I am crouching in front of Gabriel. Gabby is this cute cool dude who traced me to Nigeria all the way from Australia.

My Gabby, he has vowed to get me constantly updating my blog cos he detests lazy writers! He does not complain about the weather but groans about the lack of constant electricity cos this means he only gets to work when there is light (I absolutely refuse to buy a generator!) Gabby loves to work and vows to wipe out the 'full time housewife syndrome' from his lineage, starting with his wife to be. He also is patient and patiently waits for me to get real and buy the generator. One more noisy, fume emitting machine won't really make a difference to the thousands that presently litter the city of Lagos, Nigeria, he reasons.

While I shall focus on the eccentric, ethnocentric, and the other 'trics' of Nigerian art in future posts, I will nevertheless, not abandon my ramblings on the good, the bad, and the ugly of our society. I've been accused of being a prude but this prude does throw up surprises when you least expect them.

Aristos' aren't going to love my next post which will be about the 'Alabodo phenomenom'. But it has to be dealt with cos you see..... Gabby is disgusted about it and wants it discussed. Since he silently bears my punching out words from his tummy, silent yet vocal while he frowns at me from his side of the bed on the days when I fail to caress his stomach.... (There is light now, why aren't you on me? come on love, don't give that excuse of writer's block tonight!?) I can't but oblige him and get a-writing on his choice topic cos you see, I love him too.


To the kept-woman and her keeper, I'll merely be making a few clarifications here and there but the choice of what lifestyle to adopt will still be yours to make.

For a Unique Father............

I still cry for my daddy....Dear God why does it hurt so much, 20 years on and I still weep when a child screams 'daddy'. It comes rushing back daddy.....your face; when disciplining your exasperating daughter (Moi), when laughing at her antics and when you are the one clowning around! I love you dad and I know you did love me so so much, you said I was your mother come back to life (Guess it was just an excuse to convince yourself that you 'just' had to love me more than my siblings!)

I thank God for the few years we had together here on earth and I know the almighty had a good reason for taking you away from me while I was still so young........ Daddy I have grown up faster than I would have if you were still around but then growing up wasn't so bad as I now realise that you really were training me for adulthood as young as I was then ( Were you aware that you were not going to be around to see me through to adulthood?) Some say mothers are minigods but then I guess they never had a father like you!

It is not any better now dad, but I do hold on to all you taught me and I forge on; I try to do good and avoid evil while remembering that no man is my friend and none is my enemy but all are my teachers.

I did not learn all my lessons well though as I talk a lot but then I combine this with the ability to listen intensively!

Dad, I hope to be a good parent to my kids (When I do have them......) so I am determined that I will marry a man who is as good as you since it will be difficult to get one better than you!

Baba ni digi.

Hot pencil

Then his 7 year old daughter said "Daddy there's a bullet on your bedroom floor". "Stop that Ejiro, it's ur mother's eyepencil cover" he replied. Then to prove to his beloved girl he bent and picked the object up with his forefinger and thumb.....he dropped it quickly....it burnt his fingers!
He looked around the room but all was quiet, nothing was out of place then he looked up and saw the neat hole in the roof.
Papa Ejiro looked down at his daughter who had been sitting on his bedroom floor playing with her dolls.

Not a work of fiction I assure you fellow Nigerians, the menace of stray police and army bullets aint over yet!

Nigeria we Hail thee!

What is spectacular about the Nigerian? We often get a mention when good and bad is done anywhere in the world, it is stipulated that 1 out of every 5 black man is a Nigerian, I should then feel free to assume that at least 2 of every 10 Black American is of Nigerian ancestry! Despite these facts or fables as the case may be, Nigerians appear impotent to change the face of bad leadership in the country. Is it acceptable that a few callous people in the name of being governors, senators, ministers and what have we, hold about 140million brainy people to ransome?

When are we going to rise and with one voice delare 'Enough!'

Well, the 'one voice' is the trick. It is sad that some people do not mind that Nigerians are being visited with war in their land; not by Europeans or Portuguese but by fellow Nigerians.

No one is happy with the millitancy in the Niger Delta but it is sheer lack of knowledge and not patriotism that will make any right thinking person believe that declaring a war on the Niger Deltans is the way forward.

If electricity is supplied to Nigerians, it will enhance lives and more idle hands will become productive. But is anyone listening? At least the 'Aba made' market will bubble if there is constant power supply!